Renewal

Yesterday I attended an amazing yoga class complete with live cello music! It was absolutely delicious...

While guiding us through a wonderfully challenging vinyasa, the instructor was talking about renewal and how we have to "die a little" to be "reborn." This theme keeps coming to me lately, in various forms. First the yoga class. Then Brenda Stanton discussed it today in her weekly email. She talked about how you have to give up part of who you are today to fully become your true self and realize your dreams. Add in the fact that is Spring is slowly arriving here and I cannot help but consider what renewal means for me as I'm going through this very life-changing kind of time.

I think it is comforting to keep in mind that in order to grow or change we have to go through some discomfort/death/sacrifice. It makes me feel like the discomfort is meaningful. That it is a sign that I am on the right path. Right now I am in a place where I feel extremely grateful and excited that I am turning my dream of opening a Wellness Center into a reality. At the same time I feel completely overwhelmed almost every time I stop and consider exactly what it is I am doing. Quitting my job. Giving up my paycheck, health benefits, retirement fund. In a really scary economy where most people are just happy to have a job. Taking on responsibility for every single facet of running a business. I start to think, "Holy crap! I am crazy! Who do I think I am to try and pull this off?" {This is sometimes the point where I start crying.}

How long I engage in this train of thought varies from day to day, but eventually I always remind myself to stop and take a deep breath. I remind myself of my awesome family that is always there for me. I think of the other challenges I've overcome in my life. I remember that everything is just falling into place way too beautifully for this not to be exactly what I am supposed to be doing with my life right now.

So I'm working on embracing the discomfort. Thinking of it as natural and beautiful, a part of the whole changing/growing process. Trying to remember to breathe, to soften into the challenge, like I might during my 6th breath in Plank pose.