Do Yourself a Favor - Let It Go!

I once read a story about a Zen master and his student. I can't remember exactly, but it went something like this: They were walking and came across a very grumpy and rude woman who demanded the Zen master carry her across a puddle of mud so that she didn't get mud on her shoes. The Zen master happily obliged and then he and his student continued on their way in silence. The student looked extremely annoyed and when the Zen master inquired his student furiously asked, "Why would you carry that awful woman across the mud? She was mean and ungrateful!" The Zen master replied, "I put her down miles ago, why haven't you?"

I thought of this story this morning. I was rushing to get ready to leave the house on time for my physical therapy appointment when I received a text message from my daughter. She forgot a basket that she needed for a gift that her and some other students were preparing for their long-term substitute teacher. Today was his last day in their class. The text said, "I need that basket!!!!!" I replied that I would bring it later in the day after my appointment and another meeting I had scheduled. She asked, "Can you bring it soon?" At which point I felt myself getting extremely angry! "No I can't bring it soon," I thought. "I have an appointment and a meeting to get to. It's not my fault she forgot it. She should be more responsible." And on and on, but still I replied to her,"Fine I'll just be late for my appointment." There's that lovely mommy martyr coming out!

After a few moments of this train of thought and the associated aggravation, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that it is rare for her to need me to bring something to school and that all-in-all she is a very responsible person and that really this was about her and her friends doing something kind for their teacher. I reminded myself that I certainly didn't have to bring the basket right then or ever. I could say no, but I was choosing not to. So if I was choosing to run out the door with wet hair and no makeup on so that I could deliver the basket as soon as humanly possible, then it was time for me to let go of my frustration and martyrdom and all that other good stuff I was holding onto!

By breathing deeply and reminding myself that I was choosing to risk being late to my appointment because I wanted to help my daughter out, I was able to do just that! I drove calmly, I entered the school serenely, and I continued on to my appointment in peace. Believe it or not, I actually got there early and sat in the parking lot applying my makeup! I know that my morning would have gone a lot different if I had held onto my initial anger. Worst case scenario I could've been hurt or hurt someone else by driving around in a mad rage. Best case scenario I'd just be irritated on the inside and my stress response would activate, elevating my blood pressure, interfering with my digestion, and making me more susceptible to illness, amongst a host of other negative physical and emotional side effects. To me, it is SO not worth it! If you choose to carry a grumpy, ungrateful lady across some mud, do yourself a favor and truly put her down the moment you reach the other side.

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Abundance

I have been thinking a lot about abundance these days. Mostly because I am finding myself in a scarcity mindset (the opposite of abundance) more often than I'd like... but something clicked for me this weekend as I was reading Gail McMeekin's 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women. In Secret 10 she talks about how our society often equates abundance with having money, but that there is so much more to abundance than money. She says, "Abundance invites us to live the life we desire instead of settling for less." Abundance is about how we live our lives; the choices we make, the choices we are free to make. It is about how we spend our time, the relationships in our lives, and our daily experiences.

I realized that although I may not receive a plentiful paycheck, I have plenty of abundance in my life. I wake up in a warm and cozy bed with a wonderful, supportive husband next to me. I spend my morning leisurely getting my daughter off to school. I have a wonderful family close by. I have fabulous friends that I get to spend time with regularly. I craft my own schedule each and every day of my life. I have time to exercise and practice yoga regularly. I live in a beautiful home filled with good books! I do exactly what I have always dreamed of doing for my work. I meet amazing people through my work. I have freedom and independence to explore my creative dreams. I am surrounded by abundance!

Happy Abundant Monday,

Mindy

Artist Date at Goat Island

Lately I have been feeling a bit stuck. Things are not happening as quickly or easily as I would like them to and I feel myself becoming irritated with this process. I've been getting caught up in the details and losing sight of my bigger vision, my intention for these businesses. It is easy to do when most of my days right now are filled with the bureaucracy of insurance companies, banks, public agencies, etc. I don't mean to knock these institutions. They are very important and necessary to what the hubby and I are trying to do here. Which is? Transform a more than 100-year old-in-some-places-literally-crumbling building into a sanctuary of peace and inspiration for our community. Anyways....I digress. The point is I have not been feeling so fabulous about the details of my daily life lately!

So, I decided to take myself on an Artist Date. An Artist Date is a solo excursion where one spends an hour simply doing whatever she desires. Sound fabulous? It most definitely is! I have been doing them for more than a year since I first worked through The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.

Yesterday I chose to pack up my books, journal, and camera and head to Goat Island, a beautiful park here in Niagara Falls. I took along a soy chai latte to keep me warm. I haven't had one in a long time so it felt like a real treat! This Artist Date combined several of my favorite things. Physical movement: I didn't want to pay the $10 for parking so I parked on the city street and walked into the park. I also did quite a bit of hiking around while I was there. Nature: Goat Island is gorgeous and filled with trees and waterfalls and tons of natural eye candy. Reading: I brought along the three books we are using for the creativity circle with Kimberly Wilson: The Artist's Way, Hip Tranquil Chick, and the 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women. Writing: I spent some time resting beside a tree and writing in my journal.

I had a fabulous time and truly do feel refreshed after those hours spent alone walking, reading, writing, contemplating. In retrospect, I feel like I chose this location for my Artist Date because of all the fast-flowing water. It is in constant flux, always moving, the opposite of being stuck...

Good Things

Nina over at The Whole Self sometimes writes a Good Things list, so I totally borrowed this idea from her!

I feel like I am having an ultra crappy week, so I need to remind myself of the Good Things!

Here goes! Good Things that have occurred this week in the midst of all the not-so-good stuff...

girls' night with the yayas

fields greens with mango, strawberries, almonds, and goat cheese

freshly made amaretto ice cream

i'm actually connected to the internet on my new laptop (it's been in the works since december, i am not kidding)

me sticking to my physical activity plans for the week (so far), including a super challenging yoga class (gasp) in the middle of the work day

two consecutive 80+ degree days

coming home to find my husband pulling weeds and being able to effortlessly cross that off my to-do list

Cheers to the Good Things!

2009 so far...

Things are super busy right now, but mostly in a good way! I'm going through a period of extreme change that brings with it joy, fear, excitement, nerves, and more. I'm doing my best to ride the wave and stay centered (with varying degrees of success depending on the day)...

So amidst all these changes, I took a little break today to reflect on 2009 so far. I can't believe the year is almost half over!

Here is a sampling of things I've done so far...

• completed Pre-Natal Yoga Training
• attended weekly (challenging) yoga class
• started this blog
• took a drawing class
• created a painting
• ran 1st women's wellness circle
• completed the microenterprise program
• opened my 1st business bank account

And things I plan to do by the end of the year...

• close on property for wellness center (on Friday!)
• pass EPPP (hopefully on Tuesday!)
• try yoga dance class
• go to california with my husband to relive our honeymoon
• go back to spinning class
• take goddess leonie's de-cluttering e-course & clear some major clutter
• open a private practice
• take a family vacation to rhode island
• brainstorm new ways to volunteer in my community

What an eventful year so far! Okay, back to work!

Postponing pleasure for the "right time"

"There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way." ~ The Buddha

I love this quote and I rely on it when I find myself in the kind of place I'm in right now. The place where I feel so focused on a task/deadline that I'm forgetting to just enjoy the process as I get there.

I'm so focused on preparing for my licensure exam on June 16. In a way it feels good. Comforting almost. To just focus on this one thing, day in and day out. I'm the type of person that relieves anxiety by over-preparing. So I'm studying and studying and studying. And I'm feeling pretty good about the test.

But I'm also finding myself skimping on my self-care. I skipped my yoga class last week. I have virtually abandoned my journal. I haven't even been reading my favorite blogs. I just feel very uninspired and it bugs me. I also hear myself thinking/saying everything will be great after June 16 when the test is over. I try to avoid thinking like that because I know there is always some other deadline or task waiting once I finish this one. Also, I don't believe in postponing pleasure until things are "just right" or everything on my to-do list is accomplished. Mostly because there isn't a perfect time for anything. Or a different way of saying it is that it is always the perfect time, including right now. Also, has anyone ever actually experienced an entirely completed to-do list with nothing else needing to be done? Not me.

I'm feeling such a struggle between working toward my goal and just being content in the moment. Deep down I know that taking a break and doing something for myself will actually make me more productive. It is what I try to convey through my work with others, but I still struggle to apply it to myself sometimes.

So what advice would I give to a client? Probably to just do it; just offer loving and joyful acceptance to herself exactly as she is right now, carve out some time to do something she loves (regardless of how jam-packed the schedule seems), and see what happens. I guess I will have to try out my own advice :-)

PS Today is my grandparents 54th Wedding Anniversary! Isn't that amazing? Happy Anniversary Mimi & Papa!!!

Keeping Things in Perspective

I was scheduled to spend this weekend retreating in the mountains at the lovely farmhouse pictured here, but my body had other plans... so I am retreating in my bed instead!

This morning I was so upset, trying to decide whether to push myself and just get in the car for the 6 hour drive or surrender and hop back in bed. I was getting all worked up about it and then I thought, "Hold on a second! Take a breath. This is not some life-changing decision!" I realized I was placing way too much importance on this choice. Honestly, if my biggest problem today is to decide whether to go away for a weekend of yoga or stay in bed for a weekend of rest then I am doing really well! Sometimes I get so wrapped up in day-to-day stuff, I lose sight of the big picture.

Coming soon: how to have your very own retreat without leaving home (and other blog posts about something besides me being sick, I promise)